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don't rub salt in the wound. Saddlestring Move out ASAP and avoid anything that reminds him of you for awhile. That might be mutual friends and places you'd out. Try not to talk about him to friends too too much- out of sight out of mind. Force yourself to do things- different things either with someone or by yourself- that you don't normally do. Try to congratulate yourself for trying these things. Try not to beat yourself up if you obsess about him. If you think about him 4 times one day and 3 times the next- yourself on the back 'cause you're improving every day. If you're not ready to go on dates- don't go. After a bad relationship, my therapist told me that feeling and thinking about an ex is not a bad thing. It means you are trying to learn to listen to red flags. You are in a sort of PTSD right now and need time to "heal". Also, surround yourself w/ people who are emotionally. The healthier and more independent you get, the more you this guy is not right for you. My wife and I have been married for 4 years now and together for 7 years. Last year we suffered the lost of her nephew (5yrs old) and still fighting to grasp reality. Her family became alot closer then in the past due to dealing with this. We were the stay at home type couple before happily married. But for the past 10 months she has been into going out with her family to bars and restaurants and frequently I go with her. months ago she cheated on me and got busted! We decided that the marriage was over, I was devistated, she blammed it on nothing in common, ect. She kept seeing her new boyfriend without a relationship. Two months go by and I did all I could to save the marriage. She was still unhappy being married. Then I finally meet someone that I liked and wound up in a relationship for over a month. We were still living together and she got jelous that I was moving on with someone that really liked me. Since she didn't invite me to her family's turkey day I stayed overnight with my new girlfriend on X-Mas. She went ballistic and beat me up. I realized she needed me back and ended my current relationship two weeks later. Then everything was back to normal for over a month, both happy together sexually active. She started getting depressed again and taking zanax dealing with the death of our nephew. Now it has a tight grip on her and her happiness has declined. I come home and she is wasted passing out standing up and gets defensive if I bring up her addiction. We have had several (try to work on things) talks and keep ending up in the same place. She has no hobbies or intrests besides working 14hr days and meeting her family. We each other and own an expensive house and two dogs. We have not had any counseling. Is there another way to handle this giving our situation? Or should we sell the house and move on? We talk and come to the conclusion that we are not making each other happy but can not agree on divorce at this time. Any suggestions I would appreciate. Thanks for hearing me out.