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My Ex cheated, denied it we separated but lived together his military salary wouldn't stretch that far. He got abusive and drank a ton. I went back to school full time, worked part time, and after 16 years I got one year of alimony and upport. HE threatened so awful things not retiring (he retires very -) getting kicked out bla bla bla So i caved to his every whim. When I got involved with someone he went balistic.. 2 years after we separated, and he still had his girlfriend. Yet..When I got involved with someone he went balistic.. I ended it right there. Filed got it over with. I DIDn't care how poor either of us wound up. At one point in all of this he hit me bruised me I went to FAP on base they dismissed charges because he said I instigated. I blocked the doorway because he wouldn't listen to me.. so he nearly broke my arm. He has since had an alcohol related incident while deployed. He doesn't pay any of his bills, but thank god support and alimony are in an allotment. I know I have given up a ton, and could have gotten more, but I couldn't afford a lawyer. He knows this, yet he continues to chastise me about all the "support' he gives me. I work, take out student loans, volunteer, and dunno how I make it through the day sometimes, but I do. He rarely visits the, and when he retires I bet he moves back east. So be it. He has always viewed parenting as babysitting, and tells me I did nothing for the family unit by being a stay at home mom until the youngest started pre-k. And even before that I worked. I was in the reserves and had a home daycare. You tell me did I do NOTHING? No I didn't tolerate his addictions, so i guess i never did anything for him. Porn on his computer and drinking consumed him. I refused to tolerate it and ed him on it till he started hitting me. I am just glad I am away from him. You do what is best for you. I just know everyone says the women makes out like a bandit and the gets screwed I don't it that way. BTW, I am no longer a navy wife, and I was never FAT, have 3 a degree, a job, and am working my ass off for my while working on my master's degree.

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