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You're tossing up other issues for distraction. It's FINE to decide you don't want to meet the Dec post-doc date. That be a perfectly reasonable decision. But OWN it. don't blame it on favoritism. IF I were in your situation and wanted to meet that deadline, I'd my advisor about what happened immediately, ask for an emergency meeting, and at that meeting TRY to schedule an hour with her to quickly go over my work plan. She might say no. She might refuse for any number of reasons, including a family emergency. But she might NOT. So if I REALLY wanted to make that deadline, I'd TRY. I'd give it my best shot knowing it might not happen, while hoping it might. It is reasonable to decide YOU aren't prepared to make the deadline. Just don't blame it on her if you're not willing to try. And obviously the REAL issue is your fear of telling her what happened. Dredging up past grievances is simply an attempt to rationalize not telling her. I don't underestimate the unpleasantness of telling her. No one would want to do it. Anyone would be and reluctant. Thing is you can't fight reality: it's simply a fact that you have to tell her. If I were you I'd be putting my energy into telling the story right to writing something short, clear, responsible, and compelling. I'd be working on TRYING to enlist her sympathy, instead of revving myself up about real or imagined past injustices. The latter strategy backfires. Sharpening the chip on your shoulder, instead of looking into your heart and figuring out how to fix your contribution to the mess, is guaranteed to backfire.
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