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Over the years I've talked to a lot of guys who became aware of their attraction to men later in life and a surprising number were genuinely just unaware when they were younger. They way the guys explained it I don't think they were lying to themselves, I think it just never seriously entered their minds. The general cultural belief is that men are horny devils who can barely keep it in their pants and think about sex every minutes. I think the reality is that men have a wide array of sexual levels. I have good friends and have known other guys who are a lot like the main character in "The 40 Year Old Virgin." Sex just isn't part of their lives. A guy like that who might be or bi is probably going to be at the very most only minimally aware of his orientation. A lot of guys who were aware of their attraction to men have ignored it when younger because they assumed that any same sex attraction meant you were and as they had nothing in common with what little they knew of guys they figured they couldn't be. Prior to the Internet you really had to go out of your way to find information about being bi or. It usually wasn't something you could talk about with your friends. (Hell, in my experience it wasn't even something you talked about with the friends you had sex with.) Fortunately a lot of this unawareness is probably going away thanks to the Internet where guys can that they're not the only guy who is attracted to guys and there's a wide range of same sex attraction in men. On the down side of all this new awareness is the not uncommon conservative beliefs of a surprising number of queer guys that all men experiences their same sex attraction in the same way. These guys think all men who are attracted to men at any level are and they're all aware of it from an early age. But I'm sure those conservative views are just a noisy bump in the road that a genuine acceptance of actual diversity eventually flatten and silence.
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"... advertisement that pretends to be art is, at absolute best, like somebody who smiles warmly at you only because he wants something from you. This is dishonest, but what's sinister is the cumulative effect that such dishonesty has on us: since it offers a perfect facsimile or simulacrum of goodwill without goodwill's real spirit, it messes with our heads and eventually starts upping our defenses even in cases of genuine smiles and real art and true goodwill. It makes us feel confused and lonely and impotent and angry and scared. It causes despair." --David Foster Wallace
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