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re: getting over someone m4w You are both RIGHT in perspective, issue is honesty,secret's and she is so highly influenced by the wrong people, her clinging to these people from her past , its ed a life boat, and the thoughts are that is she is fearful prior and during her relationship, her fear of fuck ups, her fear of commitment to herself or anybody for that matter, her commitment to go the whole nine yards, yet when out and about ,she is bubbly firecracker, loving life ,she cycles in and out of her attempt and I say attempt tobe normal and right, It sounds that she has a few personility conflicts within herself. no self esteim, possibly suffering from depression, Id would almost think that she is a alcoholic, ( in denial ) her alcohol is her Happiness, but with that we are more than aware it magnify's her mood or personailtys, good mood she has no present thoughts of her past , mistakes she is good, her first thought of her bad past, then its not going to go well at all, It also sounds that HE is a enabler, possibly trying to constantly fix,cure ,or help , It is too bad that when a person of these issues has someone that is willing to look past the past or bad,she will not or can not see that this probally is the only person that truly cares !! But i would think this is something she will never see, and it is sad, and as said once a cheater always a cheater, for the most part true !! It does sound like he is or has to try to look past her bad history, I think she relives it more so, bad dreams, anxiety, and more !!